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BEYOND WONDERLAND


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BEYOND WONDERLAND

I’m a little, little girl and the world scares the shit out of me.

I’m such a fool kid who opens up at the lowest sign of love. I’m trying to find my way but I’m nothing but a useless, worthless, fucked up, piece of shit, crazy girl.

I am not dead but I’m not alive either, I’m just a ghost with a beating heart.

I lock myself in my room with my closest friend: Loneliness.

They think they know me but they never will, they will never know how broken and sad I am inside.

I’m surrounded by ghosts who whisper in my ear, they repeat my name and they know my game, I’m scared.

I laugh a lot before I cry & I don't understand how you could lie to me.

I’m afraid of the monsters inside my head and the shadows hidden beneath the bed.

I open wounds on my skin to release the demons of my sad soul.

I cry a lot ‘cause I’ve lost myself in the dark and I can’t find my way back home. What home is?

I spent many nights in bitter tears and cold darkness.

The world feels like being in hell, so I made my own where everything’s beautiful and nothing hurts anymore.

I’m going crazy but no one knows my secret. I laugh and I don’t know why and then the tears come down. That’s why my doctor says I’ve got to sing a happy tune.

I’m broken and I know it ‘cause I’ve got a hole in my chest full of nothingness, I’m broken and I can’t be fixed ‘cause I can’t feel a thing anymore.

I’m tired of the voices inside my head all they’re speaking at the same time, I want to scream at the top of my lungs but I never say a word. I just want to stop running away from everything.

They broke me inside; I’m full of emptiness and rotten memories.

I used to be an angel but they made a monster of me.

I was just a kid that you could not forgive because it’s harder.

Well, take what you want ‘cause I’ve got nothing. Pass me some pills and I’ll go to bed, but however much I toss and turn I feel a dark place up ahead.

They will never understand that I was just a kid and all I really wanted was my daddy…

All I ever wanted was love…

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